"You Have Your Hands Full"

That is definitely the most repeated phrase I hear when I'm out in public. I don't mind, not really but I'm running out of clever things to say in return. Most of the time I just say "yep, just a little" but sometimes I'll throw in a "I'm very blessed".
I can see a little grandma a mile away coming toward the babies all smiles and I just know they will stop and fawn over the babies. They are so sweet and I know that will be me someday. These little old ladies always brighten my day no matter how crazy the kids are being.

Things are pretty nuts right now. I went back to work a couple weeks ago and while I may have been a welcome break from 24/7 kid duty (and dootie) I'm finding it a very tough balance. There are not enough hours in the day to get everything I need to get done even close to done. Sometimes my list is just so overwhelming I do nothing but lay a blanket on the floor, put the twins on it and stare at them, make goofy faces an make them smile. That gives me more of a sense of accomplishment than tackling the 5 foot tall laundry mountain in the basement.

My photography business is doing pretty good but I know it could be better if I could commit more time to it. It just can't happen right now.

As I sit here now my brain is scanning all that needs to be done while Erin is napping, Evan is engrossed in some Curious George and the twins are bouncing at my feet in their bouncers with content full bellies. Yet here I sit, feeling the tug toward the computer so I can document what we are all going through right now. I can't sum it up with one word...maybe five. Bliss, worry, exhaustion, fun and stress. Are stress and worry the same thing?

Bliss - our four wonderful beautiful children are healthy, happy and our whole world.
Worry - money. Not enough, not sure how the hospital bills and/or other debt will ever get paid.
Exhaustion - well the twins are now sleeping through the night so that is a MAJOR deal! But I am still just tired. I've never been a great sleeper and since the twins are still in a bassinet next to me and Evan and Erin tend to wake up at least once a night with a bad dream or wanting a drink or some other crisis I don't get a whole lot of sleep. Not to mention I have to get up almost two hours before work to get everyone ready.
Fun - so much fun with the kids. From the zoo to birthday parties to pizza and movie night at home we have a blast.
Stress - a messy house, landscaping looks like no one lives here, a tiny kitchen that is the bane of my existence, potty training a stubborn three year old, kindergarten starts next week for Evan, daycare expenses, Wes' mishaped head (more on that in a bit) and how will be ever afford anything...ever.

 In the big scheme of things these are not big problems. Completely manageable. But it is a lot and it's not hard to get overwhelmed.
The other night at Kindergarten registration was the first time I almost had a meltdown. The twins needed to eat and were crying, Erin and Erin were running around this computer lab like wildlings and we were trying to get Evan's bus situation straightened out. It was all too much and I just needed to bail. And most of the time it doesn't bother me but the judging eyes of other moms were too much for me.  I am without a doubt completely emotional about Kindergarten. I mean, COME ON! This was like five minutes ago!!!

He still seems way to tiny to be riding this giant school bus (with no seat belts!) all by himself. It just feels strange to me. And I know it will be fine and that (hopefully!) he won't get on the wrong bus or anything but my worrying self just can't help but worst case scenario everything. I will be a sobbing mess taking him in that first day and I hope I'm not the only weepy one at drop off. Maybe there will be some other moms I know there to commiserate with and to say "what the heck happened, how are they in kindergarten!".

In other news our little Wesley will probably be heading into a baby helmet because of his loppy head. It's pretty flat on one side in the back and his forehead bulges out a little bit. We've been trying repositioning him for the past month or so but with no results. Our pediatrician told us his gut says to do it now or we would be sorry we didn't in a few months. So I took him to get scans on his little melon yesterday. He did really well! The tech was just praising him because most babies really hate it but he just kind of laid there and didn't fuss. He's so laid back though, I wasn't surprised.

We meet with the doctor at the Neurosurgical Institute on August 6th to see what steps we needs to take next.

I've also been struggling with whether or not to send Erin to preschool. We sent Evan at three two days a week but I'm not sure if we can financially do it at this point. Not to mention the drop off and pick up would kind of be a mess. They do preschool at our daycare so I don't think she will be missing out on anything academically but I kind of just wanted her to have some exposure to sitting at a desk and lining up, that sort of thing. I'm still on the fence...so stay tuned.
Speaking of fences my parents have agreed to fence in our back yard! Hallelujah! That will be great especially once the twins are mobile.

Well, that's enough rambling for today. How about some pics of all my cuties I love so much.
Our garden is doing great!

 Erin is thrilled.

 Still crazy eyes!